My love/hate relationship is technology. I adored my iphone 3Gs: taking pictures, downloading and using apps, reliant on my calendar and synched RTM, and generally glued to the glowing screen half of my waking hours. Then it died. All my data was erased. Photos, music, vids, app data, EVERYTHING. Though I did get it back to working order, something had changed. I no longer use any apps that store data because I don’t trust them. Even with regular backups (which I had performed previously), it’s just not ironclad.

For me, this moment was the beginning. From then, I continued to question my relationship with technology. Sure, it has brought me so much joy: hours and hours converting our analog family videos to digital then creating endless montage possibilities for different family get-togethers; the ease of access and control of information with a mobile handheld computer; the frustration and pride of building a website (I’m not a web designer or code ninja!); even just the miracle of wireless printing, internet, and hard drive networking.

Then I recall the tears (actual tears) when a hard drive crashes and I lose those family videos. The complete anger of seemingly no control over a random disaster like computer failure. Or even just the near-daily annoyance of my damned airport extreme not connecting me to my hard drive like it should.

I HAVE NO CONTROL!

If only I knew more about x, y, z. And I hate that feeling. Cause I don’t know about x, y, z, or Terminal or php, or html. So in the end I feel incompetent.

So what to do?

Last December, during our run of performances of Singin’ in the Rain, I was backstage blogging away and a cast member (teenaged) noted my computer and said, in true teenage style, “Oh my gawd, that’s so ooooold.”She was referring to my 2007 MacBook Pro, which, in my opinion at the time, was not OLD, thankyouverymuch.

But shit, I guess it was 4+ years old at the time. So is the answer to dish out heaps of money to stay on top of the newest hardware, then dole out more money to tech professionals if anything goes wrong?

Well I don’t have any cash. Truly (I’m workin’ on a 2007 macbook!) So my only hope is to keep learning as much as I can about everything and anything to do with securing the technology in my life. Keep sending my little engines that can good vibes, “come on hard drive, you can do it, spin that wheel, pump that data, you’re the best!” And when shit does hit the fan (cause it will), just breathe, relax, probably cry, then move on.